In January I will be celebrating my 17th year as a missionary and I have to say that I get asked a lot of questions about living and serving Jesus in another country.
Here are a few of the common ones:
So how did you know you wanted to do this? How can you do this? Where did you meet Pablo? Where you ever lonely? How did you learn to speak Spanish? Did you move to Honduras as a single or were you already married? What’s it like raising kids on the mission field? Do you have any regrets? What do you miss most about the States? What’s the hardest part about being a missionary? How do you know what your call is once you move to the mission country? Are you going to do this for forever? Now, where in Mexico is Honduras? Are mission teams effective? What are the differences in culture? How do you handle all the annoying things about the other culture? Did you have culture shock? Do you get reverse culture shock when you go back to the U.S.?
Well, I thought in honor of my upcoming “missionary anniversary” I’d answer some of those questions, tell a bit of my story, and I’m also going to get some pictures out of the memory box for you to enjoy.
Today’s picture is from 2001 on the streets of downtown El Progreso, Yoro, Honduras.
Today’s topic: Culture and Complaining.
I will never forget an encounter I once had with a veteran missionary. I was new to missions and I was at a conference in the States. A group of us had circled up after one of the sessions and we were trading stories. At first they were funny anecdotes about living in other cultures, but this one lady’s stories kept getting more negative and full of complaints. She complained about the weather and the nationals. She opined away about corruption and how she’d been hurt and burned by friendships in the past. She finished with a loud declaration, “Uggg, I really can’t stand the Filipinos!” Others joined in adding their dislikes about the culture they served in. I didn’t say anything, but my heart was so grieved. I remember going home that night and asking God to help me always love the culture I’m called to.
There are days when I don’t feel like it. Or days when I’m utterly frustrated about the way things are done. But I try not to complain about it. Complaining is a condition if the heart. Think for a moment how great complaining worked out for the people of Israel on the way to the Promised Land. Not so great, eh? In order to minister effectively, you have to do so out of a heart of love.
I always say this to newbies, if something bothers you about the culture, YOU SHOULD CHANGE….not them. The burden of change is on us. You live in their culture. Remember that.
Become a student of the culture, ask nationals to help you “get” things. Decide to never complain about the way things are done to nationals (or fellow missionaries).
Some people say that it’s healthy to talk about what you’re going through. And I believe that it is, but if it’s done with a complaining spirit, it will literally stunt your growth as a missionary, cause burn out, and make you an ineffective minister. Learn to say, “ Can you pray for me? I am having a tough time with cultural differences.” Instead of, “oh my God, you know what drives me crazy about living here?”
Let me leave you with two antidotes to a complaining heart.
1. Thankfulness.
When it’s tough, think of all the things you do like about your new country. I even have a list! My kids are used to this. When we are tempted to complain, we start talking about the beautiful mountains, our favorite restaurants, or the fact that going to the movies is so cheap here!
2. Prayer.
Pray when something bothers you. Ask God if this is something you need to change in. The American way, isn’t always the best way, you know. Or is it something that you could pray about God bringing change to?
Ephesians 5:20 (NIV)
20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.